Conversational Partner #6

Because of my inability to meet with Hussain the required amount of time, for my last Conversational Blog I will write about a pivotal moment in my life.

 After reflecting on this topic for some time, I have decided to write about when my oldest brother left for college.

To give some context, I am the youngest of four boys. My older brothers are Adam (age 27), Kyle (age 25), and Drew (age 22). We moved to Norman, OK when I was just one year old. All of us were very close while growing up, and as expected from four boys, we were very competitive. We often had 2v2 basketball or football games in our yard and I was typically teamed up with Adam. He wasn't the biggest, even though he was the oldest. I always felt like I was closest to him, even though we were eight years apart in age. I remember when I used to get home from school before Adam, I would shoot baskets in the front yard, waiting for his bus to drop him off. When he would arrive, we would always play a quick game before going in for the rest of the night. Because of the large age difference between he and I, it was predetermined that he would be leaving for college when I was still young. I was only 11 and in fifth grade whenever he moved 800 miles away to Purdue University for college. Adam looked very young for his age, and I still remember thinking how much younger he looked than all the other kids that were moving in. I remember how sad it was whenever we finally left Adam at college. We left him outside of his dorm, and the new five-person group packed into the van. Nobody said anything for a while when we drove off. The setting sun was a reflection of what was going on in my life; something was concluding, but I wasn't sure what it was at that time.

I transitioned into life without Adam on the fly. Whenever I returned to school, every day just seemed so different. I had become so accustomed to our daily basketball ritual, so I had to change that mindset. Every night, there was one extra seat at the dinner table. Every family car ride, there was always one extra seat. People say things won't change that much with a family member moving to college, but they're wrong. It pretty much everything changes. The missing family member is gone only the time that they are in classes, but that is over half of the year. This was just the beginning, too, because soon Kyle would be leaving for college, then Drew. I feel like I learned a lot from Adam leaving, and that I was forced to grow up quicker than I normally would. The family would never be the same because Adam had obligations at college that kept him away from us.

Whenever Adam moved out, I found myself thinking about what it would be like whenever I went to college. I feel like that is probably uncommon for a kid in fifth grade, but whenever I talked to Adam on a daily basis via AOL Instant Messaging, I was open to those thoughts. I always thought I would go to Purdue, and I followed their sports teams closely. Having Adam there gave me another reason to dream of my days in West Lafayette. Because of the new tuition bill that had to be paid, I felt a personal obligation to sacrifice in any way possible to help the family's financial situation, even though I didn't really have a clue what the situation was like. My sacrifices were probably unnoticed, but these actions are still prevalent in my current actions; I tend to be cautious of my spending and save as much as possible. The thoughts of college and saving money seemed very premature for an eleven year old, but they were there. I describe myself as someone who is very focused on the future, and I think that this began whenever Adam went to college. It was a pivotal moment because it changed the dynamic of my family as well as my thoughts towards the future.