Conversational Partner #6

Because of my inability to meet with Hussain the required amount of time, for my last Conversational Blog I will write about a pivotal moment in my life.

 After reflecting on this topic for some time, I have decided to write about when my oldest brother left for college.

To give some context, I am the youngest of four boys. My older brothers are Adam (age 27), Kyle (age 25), and Drew (age 22). We moved to Norman, OK when I was just one year old. All of us were very close while growing up, and as expected from four boys, we were very competitive. We often had 2v2 basketball or football games in our yard and I was typically teamed up with Adam. He wasn't the biggest, even though he was the oldest. I always felt like I was closest to him, even though we were eight years apart in age. I remember when I used to get home from school before Adam, I would shoot baskets in the front yard, waiting for his bus to drop him off. When he would arrive, we would always play a quick game before going in for the rest of the night. Because of the large age difference between he and I, it was predetermined that he would be leaving for college when I was still young. I was only 11 and in fifth grade whenever he moved 800 miles away to Purdue University for college. Adam looked very young for his age, and I still remember thinking how much younger he looked than all the other kids that were moving in. I remember how sad it was whenever we finally left Adam at college. We left him outside of his dorm, and the new five-person group packed into the van. Nobody said anything for a while when we drove off. The setting sun was a reflection of what was going on in my life; something was concluding, but I wasn't sure what it was at that time.

I transitioned into life without Adam on the fly. Whenever I returned to school, every day just seemed so different. I had become so accustomed to our daily basketball ritual, so I had to change that mindset. Every night, there was one extra seat at the dinner table. Every family car ride, there was always one extra seat. People say things won't change that much with a family member moving to college, but they're wrong. It pretty much everything changes. The missing family member is gone only the time that they are in classes, but that is over half of the year. This was just the beginning, too, because soon Kyle would be leaving for college, then Drew. I feel like I learned a lot from Adam leaving, and that I was forced to grow up quicker than I normally would. The family would never be the same because Adam had obligations at college that kept him away from us.

Whenever Adam moved out, I found myself thinking about what it would be like whenever I went to college. I feel like that is probably uncommon for a kid in fifth grade, but whenever I talked to Adam on a daily basis via AOL Instant Messaging, I was open to those thoughts. I always thought I would go to Purdue, and I followed their sports teams closely. Having Adam there gave me another reason to dream of my days in West Lafayette. Because of the new tuition bill that had to be paid, I felt a personal obligation to sacrifice in any way possible to help the family's financial situation, even though I didn't really have a clue what the situation was like. My sacrifices were probably unnoticed, but these actions are still prevalent in my current actions; I tend to be cautious of my spending and save as much as possible. The thoughts of college and saving money seemed very premature for an eleven year old, but they were there. I describe myself as someone who is very focused on the future, and I think that this began whenever Adam went to college. It was a pivotal moment because it changed the dynamic of my family as well as my thoughts towards the future.   

Conversational Partner #5

Hussain and I had some trouble finding a time to meet up following our last meeting. That was probably the last time we will be able to meet because of our similarly busy end-of-the-semester schedules. We were trying to meet somewhere that would be convenient for the both of us, and we ultimately decided upon Union Grounds. I'm glad that we were able to meet then because the winter weather would have prevented the chance of any meetings before finals.

Our conversation started with discussions about what we had to do before the year ended. Hussain said that they had a lot of tests throughout the semester, so now he was just finishing up with some tests that covered material building up throughout the whole semester. I tried to shed some light of what I would be doing the next couple weeks, and he seemed pretty surprised at how much I had to do. I tried to explain that it was an anomaly, and that my previous finals weeks weren't this hectic. I asked him what he would be doing during winter break, and he said that he'd be staying at his apartment and hanging out with friends that would be around. He mentioned to me that he was trying to find a roommate because his sister was moving out. He seemed pretty desperate, and I don't blame him. If he isn't able to find a roommate, he will be forced to pay for the empty spot. I don't remember the exact number, but it was upwards of $600 a month. I couldn't offer any viable roommate candidates for him, and I hoped to myself that he would be able to find somebody sooner than later. After I asked about what he'd be doing over break, he asked me what I would be doing. I explained to him some of the few things that I had planned, including going to a Jay-Z concert. He didn't know who that was, so I tried to explain that he was a famous rapper. He said that he had never been to a concert of any sort, but I told him not to worry because this would be my first one. I then tried to give him a glimpse of what a Christmas was like in the US. He was familiar with some of it, but I tried to give him a full rundown. I told him about the religious origin and then all of the tradition that has been formed since. I told him about stockings over the fireplace, the Christmas tree and all its decorations, and I even told him about how devoted some people are to their outdoor Christmas lights. He seemed to enjoy these stories and he was interested in hearing it from a unique perspective.

Like most meetings with Hussain, I left feeling a little bad for him. I felt bad because of the problems that he was dealing with in the apartment situation. I feel like a lot of misfortune has struck Hussain throughout this semester, and I am hoping that he is able to find a roommate so that he can avoid the high rent costs that he will soon incur. I also felt a little sad for him because of his situation over winter break. I'm sure he will have fun, but I feel like he will start to think about home whenever several other people around him are returning to their homes. This can't be easy for anybody, and I am hoping that he still has fun over the break.

Considering that that was probably our final meeting, I wanted to reflect on our overall experience. I had a good time meeting with Hussain throughout the semester. Some situations were slightly awkward, but for the most part, conversation flowed. Our talks were insightful for me, and I am sure they were relatively insightful for him as well. I think the overall goal of this assignment was achieved for Hussain and I, and I am glad that I was able to partake in it. 

Learning Experience #4

For my last learning blog, I wanted to make a full circle and relate it to one of the first blogs that I wrote- one that wasn't required to be written by our Lit and Civ class. During the summer, I decided to write about the upcoming TCU football season. There was a lot to be excited about in the summer; we had the core of our defense returning as well as Pachall and Waymon James coming back. We had a tough schedule, but one that would be rewarding in the polls if we were able to perform well. Things were looking up for the football team that was coming off its worst season in recent history, mostly due to injury.

After reflecting on the season, I have begun to think that the on-field struggles have stemmed from a few off-field incidents.

In early August, Coach Patterson lost two of his offensive linemen, Tayo Fabuluje (transfer) and Michael Thompson (retirement-knees). This left a gap on the line that TCU needed to fill. This happened a few weeks before the season started against LSU, which should have been enough time for people to step up to the task. I didn't think this would be that much of a problem heading into the season even after losing these two players...but I should have. The inexperienced penalty-plagued line from the season before was back again. The problems that were evident in 2012 have been glaring in 2013. Countless holding and false starts have killed drives of an already struggling offense. Pachall and Boykin have had limited time in the pocket, resulting in a more conservative playbook. This meant shorter passes, no holes for the running backs, and ultimately an offense that ranks in the lower half of the NCAA.

Something that has been concerning since the drug bust in 2012 is player conduct. In the early summer, news broke that reigning AP Big 12 Defensive Player of the Year Devonte Fields would be suspended for the first two games of the season. Gary Patterson was vague about the reason for the suspension, but it was an ominous sign for a player with such high expectations. As it would turn out, Fields would only play in parts of three games, totaling just four tackles. Another player that has had a lot of off-field problems is Brandon Carter. He has been in Coach Patterson's doghouse all year, and left the team for a couple games to deal with a family matter. Probably the most disappointing development throughout the whole year is the fall of Waymon James. He came in to this year as the senior leader trying to make the NFL. He represented the team at Big 12 media days. Yet, here we are with a game left and he is no longer a part of the roster. He hasn't played since being suspended for allegedly missing practice, and is now no longer a Frog. What a fallout. The conduct of these three players has been seismic, and it makes me wonder if this is reflective of a large portion of the locker room. These players' carelessness towards the betterment of the team is despicable, and is surely a reason for the team's poor performance this year.

At some point, I quit putting the blame on the players and start looking at the coaches. Offensive coordinator Jarrett Anderson has taken a lot of blame for the offensive struggles, but there isn't a whole lot he can do about the porous offensive line. Coach Patterson has been on a pedestal because of how he has improved the school, but he has to take responsibility for his players actions. He has taken the proper steps to suspend players when he sees fit, but at some point the attitude of the team needs to change and legitimate leaders need to emerge.

TCU will end up not playing in a bowl game for the first time since 2004. The TCU followed up that season with an 11-1 record, so maybe things will turn around but all I can focus on right now is the pure disappointment from this season. I was there every step of the way for the Frogs, and for some reason I let blind optimism get the best of me every week. The first time we touched the ball this season, we fumbled a kickoff against LSU. I immediately thought this would be a repeat of last year's turnover-prone team, but I brushed the thought to the back of my mind. The following week we struggled in the first half against SLU and lost Pachall for an unknown amount of time. At this point I was concerned for the rest of the season, but thought we would be able to handle Tech. Unfortunately, the offense and refs caused us to lose that game and we were 1-2. Despite the bleak start, I thought we could still win the Big 12. We struggled in the first half again against SMU but evened our record at 2-2. We travelled to my home town, Norman, to play the Sooners and we couldn't manage a first down in the first 30 minutes of play. Our defense kept us in the game but we fell short in the end. We beat a helpless KU team at home, then put up another poor showing in Stillwater. We came home to face UT, and the return of Casey brought extra optimism to this game for me. If we could win this game, we would be 4-4 and definitely have a chance to turn the season around. Boykin's fumble at the beginning of the game was almost surreal. I once again expected something to change, but the same thing that happened on the first play of the season happened again. Why was I still optimistic... The rain delay came and I stayed at Hell's Half Acre the entire delay, still thinking we had a chance to pull it out. We didn't, and we dropped to 3-5. Perhaps the lowest point of the season was the West Virginia game. We looked so promising in the first half, like the team that we were expected to be before the season. Casey moved the ball down the field with ease and our defense flexed their muscles against the hopeless Mountaineers. But then, reality, and the real TCU, set in. We had to pull together an immense comeback in the fourth quarter to force overtime. Our one drive in overtime was essentially a summary of the entire season. A six yard loss on first down, followed by a personal foul by the offensive line forced us in to a 62 yard field goal, which was missed. West Virginia kicked a field goal to win, and my heart sank when I saw Jason Verrett, amongst other players on all fours in the middle of the field. Verrett stood out to me at that moment, and I was frozen as I tried to empathize with him. He was a senior that was seeking individual and team glory in his final year in college. I also thought about Pachall. He went through an inpatient drug rehabilitation program to return to this team, and had to endure this disappointing season. That moment, the pain of losing and seemingly sealing our fate of not going to a bowl game got the best of me. Verrett's sadness, as well as other players' emotion via post-game tweets, made me feel bad for the players that cared about their team. So much goes in to a football season, and to lose a game that way to fall to 3-6 was just too much to handle. We went on to pull off a last second win against Iowa State, and then were officially knocked out of bowl contention against Kansas State.

From this football season, I have learned to heed the writing on the wall before and during a season and to quell my optimism. The amount of disappointment that I felt this season was large, considering that I am in no way affiliated with the football team. It was a sad season, and I can only hope that next year is better- but I will definitely be taking a different approach to next season in an attempt to avoid what I experienced this year. TCU needs strong leadership next  season, as well as an overall change of attitude by the team. We have one of the best coaches in the nation, so this should be able to be accomplished.

But when I think of it, I said the same thing following last season.  

Conversational Partner #4

My fourth encounter with my conversational partner was an unplanned one. In our previous meetings, the topic of TCU football had arisen a couple of times because of my interest in it. He said he had never been to a game and that he didn't understand the rules of the game at all. The reason I mention this is because during the Texas-TCU game I saw Hussain prior to kickoff. He was about twenty feet away in the row in front of me. I was surprised to see him there, but I didn't think much of it because of what was at stake in the game at hand. The student section was probably the best that I had experienced, so I was happy that Hussain was able to get a feel for what a Texas football rivalry means to those in the South. Much like previous games this season, TCU couldn't get any offense going. An early turnover prompted Pachall to make his long-awaited return, but even that couldn't cure the woeful offense. The rain came, which sent a lot of the TCU fans to the concourse. This is where I was able to catch up with Hussain. He looked surprised to see me, but, because of the rain, we were able to talk for a while. He was there with a few of his friends from the IEP and they convinced him to come to the game. I tried to explain to him that a rain delay at a football game was an uncommon event, and typically only happened a few times throughout college football every year. He was asking about particular parts of the game, so I began to describe as much as I could in the given time. I described the concept of a turnover, and the difference between interceptions and fumbles. I referenced Treyvon's early fumble as an example. I explained the concept of scoring a touchdown, the point after and field goals. In previous meetings, Hussain had explained to me how soccer was a big sport in Saudi Arabia. I was able to use this common ground to facilitate my explanation of how football was scored. He seemed confused why some kicks were worth three points while others were worth one, which caused me to laugh and think about football scoring as a whole. This was interesting to think about, and I communicated that to him.

Hussain and I chatted for about 15 minutes, and I'm glad we were able to meet in a different setting. Being able to chat in a situation when we hadn't planned on meeting showed that we had become more of friends than just somebody to talk to accomplish an assignment. I was grateful for his curiosity towards football, and glad that I was able to explain more of it to him. Trying to explain football to him in any other setting would be very difficult. Having some knowledge in this topic could be helpful for him while trying to transition living in a different country. I hope that he finds people to go to games with throughout the rest of the season. Although they may not be wins, it is still a great social experience and football games are definitely an important facet of American culture.  

Learning Experience #3

As the semester is coming to a close, I have been able to reflect on some of the key takeaways that I have gained from the past few months as far as academics goes. I think the biggest of these lessons have come from my group projects in my Foundations in Business and Business Information Systems classes. What I learned from these projects was not necessarily just the content that the project covered, but also how to work with others that communicate differently than myself. These lessons will be taken beyond the classroom and I hope will provide useful in my working career.

In my Foundations in Business group project, we were performing the simulation that I described in one of my earlier blogs. This was just a part of the project, however. Two other sub-projects included a Business Plan and an Annual Report. These were the times that the group aspect of the project came in to play. We had to collaborate to create a document that described what we planned to do with our make-believe business, and then create a report that recapped  all of the decisions we made for that year as well as our success in relation to our competitors. Since the business was make-believe, I won't be able to take much away from the content of the business or what they sold. But I do believe that the decision making part of the project will help because it accentuated the interdependence of different sectors of a business. The Business Plan and Annual Report revealed some of the tasks that would be required of a business for their stockholders. These reports are written to explain to any people who are interested or invested in the company, and are typically directed to the stockholders. They must be explanatory, but not too cryptic to where the stockholders wouldn't be able to understand the diction. They must exude confidence, even if the business is experiencing a hard time. My group members were very capable for this group, which made the daunting reports easier. However, the project still required a large dedication of time prior to the reports due dates. We spent long periods of time in the library each time. This tested my communication skills and our overall group cohesiveness. Hopefully I can carry these time management and group communication experiences over to other projects.

My Business Information Systems group project was a different experience for me when compared to the aforementioned projects. I was in a group with three other girls, and we were supposed to "consult" with an established company. This required us to research the company's IT department and see how we can improve it. This project was extensive, and required a hefty workload throughout the entire semester. For whatever reason, I found myself taking on a lot of the work for this project despite having three other group members. I was okay with this, but it did cause a considerable amount of stress for me. My inability to effectively communicate with these girls enhanced the stress and hurt the overall group experience. My messages that were seemingly harmless were interpreted as being too direct and bossy. I realized that this was common while communicating with the opposite gender. I grew up with three older brothers, so I was never really exposed to girls enough to try to decipher how they communicate. During one of our final rehearsals before our presentations, one of the girls began crying and walked away. I couldn't help but laugh, not at her, but at my complete lack of understanding of the emotions that she was expressing. This experience could yield one of the biggest lessons for me throughout the whole semester. I learned to be careful with all forms of my verbal and nonverbal communications while having a serious discussion. This will help my future group projects that include those of the opposite gender. 

Laughing Experience #2

After writing my first laughing blog, I decided to try to be more conscientious of the times that I found myself in a fit of laughter. Since then, I have discovered something rather unexpected. Lately, I have found myself spending a lot of time working on group projects. The year is coming to an end, and when two of your five classes focus primarily on semester-long group projects, that should be expected. The time that I spend working on my group project is typically stressful, especially recently as the projects have been culminating. For whatever reason, during these times of stress, something that would normally be brushed off as a small joke is laughed at in great lengths. At these times, all members of the group are subject to fits of laughter, even though the joke or occurrence was small and wouldn't normally be funny. An example of this happened last week when my group and I were working on our Foundations in Business Annual Report. We had been in the library for a couple hours and were definitely stressed out. At this time, one of the members of the group loaded up a website of a pug seemingly licking the computer screen (http://songdrops.com/pug-licking-screen-clean/). Under other circumstances, I don't think I would have found this extraordinarily funny. However, when we saw this website, all of us in the group started laughing for quite some time. It was the type of laughter that occurs in groups and builds off of one another. I experienced another situation similar to this in my Business Information Systems group project. I tended to be more stressed with this group because I felt more personal pressure to complete the project. One night, my group was working on completing our Access Database, which meant a lot of meticulous work. Once again, something small caused my group members to begin laughing hysterically. I remember I didn't laugh as much as them, because we were in a small computer lab where other people were working and I didn't want to be too loud. But the laughter was there, and it helped us get through the rest of the project. I think that this type of laughter plays in to Relief theory, but not in the same way as other instances. It wasn't relief in the sense of a joke that was built upon a serious situation before the punch line. However, I think it was relief in the sense that the tension had been high for a while, and then something relatively funny happened, which allowed a sense of relief and ultimately laughter. I think these type of situations show how important laughter is in people's life. These type of stressful situations could go in complete different directions if it weren't for laughter. When we were working and things began to get tense, individual's tempers could get the best of them and anger could be lashed out at other group members. Luckily, humor infiltrated the situation and ultimately gave the group work a breath of fresh air. Laughter can be a useful tool for stressful situations because of its ability to cause everybody to take a step back from what they are doing. The members of the group may not realize what is going on, but laughing can result in a large release of stress. This will allow for people to calm down and refocus on what they are trying to accomplish. This was evident in my group projects. I truly believe that these projects would have been many times more difficult to complete had it not been for our laughter bouts that we experienced. I found it interesting that I first realized the importance of laughter while enrolled in Lit and Civ class. I think this class has caused me to analyze laughter and humor in all situations where it is applicable. This has led me to some revelations that will be useful throughout my life, especially in situations of high stress. 

Conversational Partner #3

For my third meeting with Hussain, I wanted to do something besides just meet and talk at some place on campus. During our past meeting, we had talked about fishing a lot, and the weather was great so I decided that we should try to go to the Trinity River and fish. He had a pole, but I didn't, so when we were texting we were debating doing something other than fishing. Ultimately, the warm weather won us over and we went fishing. Judging from what he had told me about his fishing experiences in Saudi Arabia and the pictures of the fish that he had caught, I considered him to be a talented and knowledgeable fisherman. He talked about how we needed to get some "food" for our bait since I didn't have any, so we stopped at a gas station on the way to the river. We bought some Jack Links sausage for bait, and then drove to the river. He lived at the Fairfield Inn off of University for his first week in the US, so he was pretty familiar with the area around the river. We teamed up to put the hook on the pole and then put the sausage on the hook. The pole that he had was a generic one, but I was not familiar with how the reel worked. I was struggling to cast the line, so Hussain threw the line most of the time. Before we had left to go fishing, Hussain said that he didn't think we would catch anything, and he was right. We did have a few bites, however. Fishing wasn't what was important about our outing though, the conversation was.

As usual, our conversation included a various number of topics. He told me about his fall break trip, which I was looking forward to hearing about. He said that the hiking trip was the best trip of his life. He found the hiking to be difficult, but he greatly enjoyed the company of those that accompanied him on the trip. He talked about a trip to the Grand Canyon that TCU offers during the winter time and about how he might go. The large cost was making him reconsider, however.

After reviewing fellow classmates' blogs about their Saudi Arabian conversational partners, I had some additional questions for Hussain. After our first meeting, I was under the impression that Hussain did not want to return to his country after his time in the US. My classmates' blogs made me think that Saudi Arabians stayed near their parents after moving out, so I decided to ask him to talk more about it. He said that he planned to return and live near his parents, unlike his sister who lives in Ohio. He explained how his brothers and sisters wanted to repay their parents for taking care of them when they were children. This was a typical occurrence in Saudi Arabia, which put an end to my confusion.

We were talking about what we had coming up in the next few weeks, which led to him telling me about an English qualifying test that he had in a week. I had a hard time understanding exactly what he meant, but he talked about how he had to pass this test before he could go on to study English at the university. I wasn't sure if this was the next step of the IEP program, but he said that everyone that was in class with him had already taken the test.

One of the last things we talked about was something that I found to be humorous. We were talking about his sister and how her husband was moving here from Saudi Arabia when I decided to ask if he had a girlfriend. I was relatively surprised by his response, which was that he did not, and that having a girlfriend was a waste of time. They cost a lot of money and took up too much time, according to him. He began talking about how a girl texted him a lot when he initially moved here and seemed interested in starting a relationship. Hussain, however, did not want to have any part of a relationship and made that known to her. When I asked this question, I had no idea to expect, and I was definitely surprised by what he said.